On Saturday, August 18 at 2:08 pm we welcomed our son Bennett William into the world! He came into the world fast & even faster into my heart. And how cool is his birthday? 8-18-18… Mine is 1-18-81!
At 9 lbs even (8 lbs and 15.9 oz if you want to be exact) and 21.5 inches long, I knew he wasn’t going to be a little guy. Emersyn was 9 lbs 3.7 oz when she was born so I was monitored pretty closely with this guy & I have a feeling he would have been every bit of that or bigger had I gone the full 40 weeks. I don’t make little babies!
At about 11 am on Saturday I received an epidural. I was really dreading this (I HATE having my back messed with) so I was a little stressed about getting it.I did much better with it than I did with Emersyn but poor Jake had to sit down so he didn’t pass out ha. After some time I could feel it more on 1 side than the other so they had me lay on my side & even tried giving me some differnt medicine. But in time my contractions started getting worse & not better so we decided that I would have to redo the epidural to see if that helped. The 2nd time around the epidural worked like a charm & within an hour and half or so I was relaxed & ALMOST about to fall asleep when I started feeling pressure. The nurse checked me & said “we’re gonna have a baby! It’s time!” Needless to say, no nap for me!
My doctor got paged & a couple of nurses turned into several all setting up, & in 2 contractions & 5 pushes (3 mins total) Baby Bennett was here! I told you he came fast! My doctor said I was made to have babies, ha. I like to think that squats had something to do with that!
I’m going to be completely transparent. I had a lot of worries & anxiety about having this baby. I know what it’s like to have 1 child & she’s been the center of my world for the last 2 1/2 years. How in the world was I going to love another baby as much as I do her? How was she going to react? How was I gonna do it? I just had a general feeling of mom guilt & feeling bad about what I was doing to Emersyn that I let all the negative & unknown overwhelm me & shadow my feelings of happiness. I wasn’t mentally ready on Saturday. I don’t know if I would’ve been mentally ready in another week. And how different would it be to have a BOY??
Well as soon as the nurse placed that baby into my arms, ALL those insecurities seemed to melt away. He was perfect. He IS perfect. He grabbed onto my finger & I got lost staring at him & I got emotional & teary eyed & felt an instant connection. This was a total surprise to me. And as you can imagine I can’t hardly put him down!
My heart grew even bigger as Big Sister Emersyn came to meet her new little brother. At first she tip toed in very slowly & was mainly interested in her dinner they had brought! But she became curious & seemed to know right away that was her baby brother. She didn’t ASK to hold him until the next day but when she did & I saw how gentle she was with him, well there’s no feeling quite like that! How did I get so lucky??
All of Bennett’s tests came back great & we are grateful for a happy easygoing & healthy baby! We are currently home settling in. The daytime has been great but night time has been a little tricky as he keeps me up not wanting to settle in his bassinet. We are getting to know eachother & I’m trying different things with him to get comfortable at night. Needless to say I’m super tired & I forgot what that felt like! I know it will take awhile to get into routine & for Bennett to sleep ok at night but hopefully we are moving in the right direction!
Emersyn has been great with him! I’m actually quite surprised. She asks to see him, asks what he’s doing, & wants to hold him. (even if that only lasts a minute). She’s been gentle & surprisingly not super jealous of my time with him YET. I’m really working at trying to spend time with her & not let that mom guilt I talked about creep up on me. I know it will be a constant work in progress.
Seeing Jake with his mini look alike son has been really cool. Everyone was right that it would soon be like you can’t imagine your family without the new baby. So just like that we became a family of 4 & I’m soaking up every bit of it!
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